Reproductive Struggle: What is it?
It's the experience of…
...perceiving a gap between the reproductive stories you've been told and the one you're actually living....realizing that the biological script you were handed doesn't align with your lived experience....undergoing transformative changes in your body's story that rewrite your relationship with its cycles, its changes, and its future....grappling with a tension between your desires or values concerning procreation or family and the various pressures and expectations of your family, friends, or your community....feeling the immense weight of choice as you define your own relationship to family, to legacy, and to the world whose future your actions help to create.
The term reproductive struggle is not meant to be a one-size-fits all box, since every experience—including yours!—is unique. Most generally, though, I understand it as any issue, decision, or transition you might be confronting with respect to your (potentially, actually, formerly, or differently-abled) reproductive body that causes you confusion, stress, or anxiety. And I am here to help guide you through it.
One aspect of my work addresses the various challenges you might face with respect to your procreative journey, including (among other things):
- experiences related to (in)fertility or assisted reproduction
- the process of pregnancy and its end (in whatever form)
- your changing relationship to your biological or non-biological offspring
I further address issues related to the broader landscape of your reproductive life and choices. This might include, for example:
- navigating the weight of reproductive choice amidst the pressures of society or religion
- confronting existential and spiritual questions around family and procreation in a violent and changing world
- thinking about the relations of care and responsibility in which you stand, both now and in the future
My work also centrally includes supporting you through the profound bodily transformations that mark your reproductive journey, for example:
- the changes that occur as a result of contraceptive decisions, fertility treatments, assisted reproduction, or sterilization
- the weirdness of sharing bodily space with another human being during and after pregnancy
- the disruptive events that mark the end of a pregnancy and the awkward fluctuations of the post-pregnancy body
- the struggles of being a person who menstruates, as well as the challenges of living in a post-menstrual, (peri)menopausal, or otherwise aging body
- the bodily transitions experienced while undergoing gender-affirming care
Finally, I offer coaching for partners, parents, and friends, whether in your role as a source of support for someone grappling with reproductive struggle or as someone struggling alongside them. I additionally offer consulting services for employers, companies, and other third parties interested in developing appropriate, just, and inclusive policies around reproductive and family themes. (For media, speaker, and consultancy requests, please click here.)
Feel free to explore these themes more below, or send me a message here. If you're ready to talk, schedule a free discovery call to see if we're the right fit.
Coaching Themes
What might we explore together?
(In)fertility, Pregnancy (Loss), & Birth Transitions
"This is literally the hardest and scariest thing I've ever done. Help!"
"Am I doing something wrong? Why isn't this working?"
""Why does it seem so easy for everyone else? How do I cope with feeling so alone in this?"
"How do I make sense of my losses? Can I survive a pregnancy after loss?"
How am I supposed to feel good when my fertility / pregnancy / birth experience was so hard?
"Am I a failure if I don't/can't breastfeed / have a vaginal birth / immediately bond with my baby?"
The story we're often told about pregnancy leaves out the most important part: yours. The journey of creating, gestating, and birthing life is one that reshapes you—in body, mind, and spirit. It can be beautiful, but it can also feel heavy, confusing, and lonely, especially when your experience doesn't match the unrealistic ideals and singular narratives sold to us by social media, the wellness industry, and the medical-industrial complex.
Instead of leaving you feeling isolated, shamed, or blamed, my work with you will cut through the noise left by these damaging narratives and bring the focus back on you and your journey...in all its messiness, complexity, and particularity.
Informed by my own reproductive story and my professional work in the philosophy of pregnancy and reproductive loss, I'm here to walk alongside you, offering a compassionate and steadying hand as you process it all. Together, we can honour your unique experience, find meaning in its profound transformations—both positive and negative—and navigate your way forward with clarity and confidence.
Explore more with me, and book a free discovery call today! Or send me a message below.
Parenthood, Childnessness, & Reproductive Choice
"How can I make authentic reproductive choices? What are my reproductive options?"
"Can I imagine my future with/without (more) children?"
"Am I ready to parent a (or this) child?
"I thought I wanted kids, but now..."
"Everyone keeps telling me I need to have kids NOW... But really?!"
"Do we really need to be having more babies? Should we even be bringing more children into this world?"
"I feel like a horrible parent. Help!"
The decision to start or grow a family—or, alternatively, to forge a life without children—is one of the most profound choices we make, with the potential to transform both our core idenities and our relation to the world and future generations. Yet, rarely are we given the space to make these choices authentically. We find ourselves at a crossroads, caught between our own shifting desires, the expectations of those around us, and the powerful (but sometimes problematic) stories we’ve inherited about what a "meaningful life" should look like.
My work is to help you navigate this complex terrain. Together, we can explore what you truly want or value, untangle your feelings of ambivalence or readiness, and give you permission to question everything—including the desires, identities, and life paths that you or those around you take have always taken for granted. This is a space to imagine various possible futures and find the path that feels most true to you.
My support also extends beyond your initial choices. For those already on the path of parenthood, we can the address anxieties and self-doubt that plague so many of us with children. For those considering the global picture, we can confront the deep ethical questions of birthing and raising children in an uncertain and tumultuous world. Together, we can help you forge a path of care and connection that is authentic and truly your own.
Explore more with me, and book a free discovery call today! Or send me a message below.
Reconciling Religion & Reproduction
"Why would God allow me to struggle with fertility? Am I not believing hard enough? Have I done something to deserve this?"
"My reproductive struggle is causing me to lose my faith. What can I do about it?
"Is there an afterlife for the unborn? What might it mean to be 'reunited' with the babies I've lost?"
"How can I reconcile my faith with my conflicting feelings about particular reproductive issues?"
"How can I keep religion and religious norms out of my struggles?"
"How might the writings of past religious or spiritual leaders, thinkers, and mystics help me with my own reproductive journey?"
For many, reproductive struggle is not just a physical or emotional issue—it is a profoundly spiritual one. However, when our personal experience clashes with the religious (and sometimes political) doctrines we've been taught since childhood or the communal values we’ve simply been handed, it can sometimes lead to a crisis of faith or a painful sense of alienation from our spiritual communities.
My work aims to create a space where reflecting on these doctrines and values is not just permitted, but honored. Drawing on my background in philosophical theology and contemplative thought, we can move beyond overly simplistic answers toward richer, more complex ways of thinking—and we can explore the transformative wisdom found in the great mystics and thinkers of the past. By reflecting on how they wrestled with questions of loss, meaning, and the nature of the divine, we can (re)kindle your sense of the spiritual and work together to cultivate a spiritual language that speaks to your experience while remaining grounded in the tradition(s) you care about. Or we can locate new frameworks of meaning that better integrate your experience with your changing "spiritual self".
This is a space for honest, reflective inquiry. Whether your goal is to find a way back to your faith, to reconcile it with your lived reality, or to set firm boundaries to protect your journey from religious frameworks that might be harming rather than helping you, our work together is not aimed at providing easy answers, but to help you find your own authentic spiritual footing in the midst of the struggle.
Bodily Transformations & Questions of Identity
"I became a parent and lost myself! Where did I go? How can I make room for me in my new life?"
"I don't have my own goals and interests anymore! Where do I go from here?"
"My body doesn't feel like mine anymore. How do I get myself back?"
"I hate how I look/feel in my body! / I want a different body! What can I do to feel better about myself?"
"I am going through (peri)menopause or had a hysterectomy. Who am I in this new body?"
"My gender or sexual identity feels at odds with my reproductive body. How can I grapple with this tension?"
Our bodies are where we live, the most intimate home we have. But a reproductive journey—whether it’s the transition to parenthood, a medical procedure like a hysterectomy, or the natural shifts of menopause—can make that home feel like a foreign land. The self you once knew can feel distant, lost amidst new responsibilities or a body that no longer feels like your own.
My work is to help you navigate this disorienting experience. This isn’t about "bouncing back" or trying to recover a past self, but about the more meaningful work of integrating your past, present, and future selves—or learning to hold the various contradictions and tensions in your identity with authenticity and integrity. We will create a space to grieve the parts of you that have changed while making room for the person you are becoming. We can explore how to find your own goals and interests again, how to rebuild a relationship with your body based on compassion rather than conflict, and how to hold the complex tensions that arise when your gender or sexual identity feels at odds with your physical form.
The goal is to move from feeling alienated from your body and identity to feeling at home in them once more. It's about finding yourself not in spite of these transformations, but through them, and forging a renewed sense of purpose, wholeness, and self-possession.
Want me to accompany you on your extended journey through assisted reproduction, pregnancy, adoption, or reproductive loss? Looking for someone to be there for you through difficult procedures like egg harvesting/embryo transfer, pregnancy termination, or a hysterectomy?
Check back here soon for tailored coaching packages for specific reproductive journeys!In the meantime, you can book a free call with me to discuss possibilities for a bespoke package tailored to your particular reproductive journey. Or you can explore my general coaching packages and offers here.
Have a question? Want to know more? Want to share your struggle?
Whether you have a question, want to inquire about my services, or simply want to say "hey", feel free to reach out to me below.
